5 Most Difficult Things to Say to Your Aging Parent

Every week, Jewish Family Service receives phone calls from elderly individuals to ask for help. Maybe they've just had surgery and aren't able to get out to purchase food. Maybe they're afraid to be alone without an easy way to reach out for help. Or maybe they're isolated and need a friendly visitor. We're glad to get those calls because that's what we're here for. And we can certainly help.

But in addition to those requests, we also hear regularly from the adult children of the elderly. They call because they realize they have to help their parents navigate this new stage of life. To ensure their parents' safe and health, best as they can, they might have to make decisions that will affect their parents' freedom and lifestyle. And those are not easy steps to take.

In fact, we work with these issues so often that we've put together a list of the five most difficult things that adult children have to say to their aging parents. In reverse order, they are:

5. "Mom, Dad, I think you all really need some help around the house. You just aren't able to do it all on your own anymore."

4. "Mom, Dad, I think it's time for you all to share your financial information with me. That way, I could take over your paperwork and help you out if you ever needed me to."

3. "Mom, Dad, I know this is difficult, but I'd like to talk to you about funeral wishes. Let's talk now, while there's still time for your wishes to be known."

2. "Mom, Dad, I really think it's time for you to move out of your home. You just can't live alone anymore. I think we need to check out retirement facilities or assisted living."

1. And the #1 most difficult thing to say to an aging parent: "Mom, Dad, I really think it's time for you to stop driving."

Any or all of these steps could be the very best idea to maintain the safety and dignity of aging parents. However, every one of them involves a "letting go" from the elderly individual's point of view, a loss of independence. That's why it's so difficult for the parent to hear. And so difficult for the adult child to say.

Give us a call. We can help.